Is “Positive Thinking,” …bullshit?

Here’s my take on positive thinking, energy, unhappiness, stress, etc.  I can only speak from experience as I have dealt with many emotions, high’s and low’s in my lifetime.  But like an addiction, you gotta get a handle on shit because life is about ups and downs, high’s and low’s regardless of who you are, what you have, what you do, where you live, skin color, gender, etc. Too much of anything is no good for you.  We all can agree on that right? But there comes a time in your life when you just get tired of feeling weighed down and our first instinct is to blame something or someone… else.  It normally happens when you feel as if you are doing everything you are suppose to do, yet, something just isn’t right, you are still unhappy, unsettled, energy off.  That is where positive thinking comes in to play and it’s not as easy as just thinking happy thoughts, its about embedding this way of thinking into your soul, your being, you have to become a positive thinker, not just think positive thoughts. 

There was a time in my life when I had a lot of good things going on, yet I didn’t feel fulfilled. It was at that moment that I had to take self-inventory because I knew I deserved a better quality of life, internally. On the outside things looked great as they always do with people, but you never know what someone is going through inside.  So I took self-inventory, literally made a list of people I talk to, how much I talk to them, what we talk about. I jotted down what I think about the most, and if it was conducive to anything I’m trying to accomplish.  What did I listen to every day, is the music too angry, too emotional? What do I eat, how much do I drink?  The man in my life at the time, if there was one, what is he feeding me? Is he a good source of light for me? My friends, who are they really? Where are they going? How do I feel around them and most importantly, how do I feel after I leave them or reveal things to them? Do I feel drained, regretful, safe, judged, uplifted, light? My home, what’s inside there? Is it a happy place? Is it a good place? What’s the energy like when you walk through the door? What don’t I like about myself, can I change it?

I can go on and on but I had to get really intricate, down and deep to understand myself and what I needed in my life to catapult me to that next level of joy and freedom that I knew awaited me.  There was a lot of things that I needed to let go of, a lot of conversations that I needed to stop having with people and myself and I knew that in doing this, I’d lose some folks, but I was okay with that, I was choosing me!

I trained myself to look at the good and not the bad, to see the light at the end of the tunnel, to think of alternatives instead of giving up, to find a reason to smile no matter what was going on. I prayed, I meditated, I read, I cried, I filled my days up with joy by doing something to make myself happy, be it read a book, turn my phone off, write something, admit something, pray about something, forgive someone.  The recipe for happiness is different for everyone, but we all want that baked Mac and cheese to come out creamy on the inside with the crunch on the top, right?

It wasn’t an easy thing to distance myself from everyone for a moment to get to know myself better without the constant chatter of other voices.  I had pep talks with myself daily for years until I began believing all of the good things I was telling myself,  feeding myself information and energy that NOBODY could. I began to shy way from people who only talked about other people.  I distanced myself from those who are always angry or have something negative going on.  I rid myself of any materials and conversations that contributed to the slander of another and I definitely dropped those who had no future plans or dreams. I had to understand that my path was mine and I had to lead the way for me.   In doing so, I made plenty of room for what I needed. Saying Yes to me and NO to others made them uncomfortable, but it damn sure set me free. And with that freedom comes a peace that no man can ever take from you.  It’s locked in you for life because you earned it, you did the work, its embedded in your soul because you sacrificed your comfort zone, you sacrificed relationships, you sacrificed the old for the new, you stopped thinking positive but became a positive person.   You can only GIVE your peace away, but no-one can take it from you.

No longer hidden behind negative connotations and a clusterfuck of nothingness, people with purpose began to enter my life, doors in my heart and mind began to open, even my friends began to change WITH me in support of my dreams and goals for my spiritual, emotional, mental self.  It was then that I learned that when people really love you and want what’s best for you, they will ride with you and for you without you having to ask, they just flow with you. I shut down any conversation that was about bullshit.  Life is complicated so no, its not easy to be on the up and up positive all day, that is indeed bullshit. But being a positive person? That my dear is NO bullshit.  With all of the ingredients given to us so freely to hate ourselves and to remain stagnant, it wasn’t easy at all, it takes time  to develop into the person you want to be and I’m still not done, but you gotta love your life enough to try. And you gotta be brave enough to withstand the whispers and the losses along the way.

And alas, somewhere in the midst of all of that meditation and growing and praying and crying and forgiving yourself and rising you find your self-worth, or the rest of it.  The game changes after that. Your quality of life is different, everything changes and what hasn’t, gets left behind. People now have to meet you on the level where you are, be it a lover, a friend, a business partner, they have to match the respect and love that you have for yourself and they have to respect your time and character.

You can definitely fill your life with more positive thoughts than negative ones, for a better quality of life, is my testimony.  You will attract a better quality of people and you will feel better and have a different outlook on life period. You will influence those closest to you for the better as well. We are filled with thoughts every second of the day.  Choosing to fill yourself with quality, positive, uplifting thoughts is damn sure better than filling yourself up with negative sad thoughts that will only break you down, mentally, emotionally and even physically.

The choice is yours. Now, let me ask you, what kind of life do you want for yourself?  And what are you doing about it? Because nobody is coming to save you darling. You gotta save yourself.

-Yaya

 

 

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