If you haven’t noticed already, I am all about the ladies, the women, the young girls, the domestic violence survivors, the under-dogs, the creative motherfuckas, the 9 to 5’ers, the entrepreneurs, the women out here who just want to wake up and not be compared to anybody else, the women that just want to be left the hell alone and adored for who they are, because it’s always something these days.  We can’t stand in our bare naked truth for 2 seconds without someone comparing us to someone else, pointing out what this one has and what this one doesn’t have.  We have turned into the most competitive, petty, unrealistic, plastic, mean and hurtfullest era I’ve ever witnessed.  Yes “hurtfullest,” is not a word, it’s my word.  And if you are not careful with your surroundings you will find yourself being invited into a competition and a race that you didn’t even sign up for!  You can’t even say you jogged 2 miles without someone congratulating you, then telling you about the time they jogged 4.  You can’t do anything these days without someone bringing up what they did too, or what they have. It’s almost second nature to be in a competition these days.

The job that you love and the pay you don’t mind, will all become not enough if you are around people who constantly talk about what they have and what they are doing, secretly downplaying what you got going on.  Your weight will be in question, if you are around people who always have something negative to say about women that weigh what you weigh. Your car, your apartment, your hair, your goals, everything that you love will never be enough, if you constantly fill your time up, listening to people who underhandedly down play what you have, by suggesting that they could never be happy with what you have, but they are happy for you. i.e.  I’m happy for you girl, but I know I could never do that though, it wouldn’t work for me, but I’m truly happy for you.”

You ever had someone say that to you?

And we know all too well that these men will have you out here offed up too if you let them.  The way that they slander and pit women against one another, constantly comparing us to one another on social media or TV or even the chick up the block, making you feel as if you are not enough, so you find yourself on a hamster wheel trying to please these men and to become attractive enough to these men, who don’t know the beauty or value of anything if a designer tag isn’t attached to it.  Don’t let that go over your heads, beloved, please!


It doesn’t matter if you’re the only dark skin woman in a room full of fair skin people

It doesn’t matter if you’re the heaviest girl in a room filled with thin girls

It doesn’t matter if your hair is short

It doesn’t matter if you don’t own a business

It doesn’t matter if you are single

It doesn’t matter if you have HIV

It doesn’t matter if you are a single-mother

It doesn’t matter if you are a domestic-abuse survivor

It doesn’t matter if you live in the ghetto

It doesn’t matter if you’re a virgin

It doesn’t matter if you don’t make 6 figures

It doesn’t matter if your child has a disability

It doesn’t matter if YOU have a disability

It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t want you

It doesn’t matter if she doesn’t like you

it doesn’t matter who doesn’t accept you


You have to be careful about what you ingest. You have to be mindful of the source in which the opinions and words are coming from.  Do not be easily impressed or swayed because you will be surprised that there are people who so called have more than you, that are a bit envious of you.  People who brag about what they have only appeal to people who have nothing.  A person with “something” is wondering why this person is bragging about things that are so common. You are enough and you have enough! And if you feel as if you need more, that’s okay too, but don’t let it be because of someone else’s opinion of you. If you want to change, then change, for you! If you want more, go get more, for you! If you wanna lose weight or gain weight, do it for you! If you need more money, do it for you!  If you want to switch up your goals do it for you! Everything that you do, make sure it’s not because of any outside influences.  Do it for you and just know that in the meantime, all of the time, you are enough, regardless. YOU ARE ENOUGH! During the transition, during the shift, during the waiting process.  You are ENOUGH! You are enough, right where you stand, with everything that you got, you are enough!  Pay attention to your own path, never mind what’s going on, on the side lines.

Life is not a race to the finish line. Life is not a competition.

Your life and your walk, should be slow and deliberate, making sure you stop, breathe and appreciate what you have.  It’s about doing you, failing beautifully, picking yourself up wonderfully, learning, giving, teaching, appreciating, growing, growing, growing. Seamlessly and organically making it to the next level of life. It’s about having people in your life that pours into you, not drain you and take from your soul.  It’s not about rushing or being the first to do or have anything. It’s not about competing beloved, it’s about simply living your best life for you.  But how can you if you don’t feel as if you are enough?

Be the tortoise in this thing called life my love, not the hare.




Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *