I love writing about relationships because we learn so much from them all (or at least we should) be it a situationship, manipulationship, relationship, friendship, partnership, affairs…. yeah I said it, affairs!
Anyway, either you are doing the choosing or being chosen, right? Has being chosen made you more relaxed in your situation? In hindsight, has it made you feel so special perhaps even a bit self-absorbed to the point that you forgot to choose yourself?
Let that sink in for a moment.
Being someone who practices spirituality in her own way, I know that there is a light that shines on me that brings people to me. I feel good inside even on my bad days, I smile inside even when I’m mean mugging on the outside. There is a light inside of me that will never go out, a warmth I provide that I think people gravitate towards, a vulnerability in me that allows people to feel safe and sometimes take advantage.
I had to sit in that for a moment, realizing that this isn’t necessarily a good thing, at least not all of the time.
Take flowers for instance. People will see a bevy of beautiful flowers, unbothered, undisturbed, swaying in the breeze. These flowers aren’t bothering anyone. They are simply enjoying being flowers, much like a single woman enjoys her time without any emotional attachment. Its a beautiful thing really, being happily single.
The only time that it sucks being single is when you are missing someone.
But back to being a flower. Nine times out of ten, what do people do when they walk past a bunch of flowers? They gaze and admire, they gravitate toward them, they look around to see who’s watching, then they gently pull the flower from the ground without any idea what they are going to do with it.
They walk away with the flower taking it further and further from their home, picking apart its petals, possibly showing the flower to a few people along the way and then without warning or a second thought, they drop the flower and go on about their business.
You’ve done it before. You’ve seen a pretty daffodil or daisy, maybe a lilac or carnation and you’re like, “Oh my God this is so pretty!” You pick it from it’s roots, show whoever you see next, and then after a while you drop it or stuff it in your denim jacket pocket, forgetting all about it until laundry day.
Have you ever been treated like a beautiful flower?
Gazed at, admired, picked up gently just to be picked apart and tossed aside?
Sometimes, just sometimes, being chosen isn’t all that great because it may cause you to relinquish all control and just accept someone because they “chose” you. Or in cases where it isn’t that drastic, it still may have played a small but significant role in how some of your relationships ended be it personal or professional.
I’ve learned that it’s not about being chosen, it’s about having a say so in the process and not accepting just anyone to come into your life because they picked you.
Most times they pick you like a flower.
I hope that doesn’t go over your heads.