Don’t Fight The Process


There is a quote from one of my favorite wordsmiths Rumi where she says:

“Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter. It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place. It pulls up the rotten roots, so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow. Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart, far better things will take their place.”
What does this mean to you?  Have you ever lost something that you held so dear to your heart and felt as if you didn’t know how you were going to make it through the day? Have you ever been so in love and when the relationship failed you couldn’t see the light of day? You didn’t know whether to shit or go blind? You didn’t know which way was up? Don’t nobody wanna hear about how great it’s going to be later. Nobody wants to hear the same old “it’s going to be okay” bullshit.  Nobody wants to hear that. We are hurting now and we want to know why NOW we want the pain to go away NOW NOW NOW NOW!
But let’s think for a second.  Did you not bring this pain on to yourself? Hold on! Before you blame anybody else, think about what you allowed.  Think for a second.  Against your better judgement think about how you hold on to things that you knew you needed to let go of. Think about being in the wrong relationship, wrong job, wrong friendship, wrong place.  Think about how tight you held on to it because you wanted it to work so bad.  When something is “right” for you, you don’t have to work that hard to keep it.  It is only when things aren’t right for us that we go all out to maintain it, right?  But the Universe has other plans for you my dear and so when that “thing” that you hold on so tightly to gets ripped from your grasp, it has to be done so in a way that makes you stop and say, No More, I have no more in me to chase or hold on to this thing.   It’s violent, its sudden, it’s shocking it leaves you wondering WTF? Why?

Why is because all the signs were in your face, day after day after day.  And you chose to ignore it.  You chose to act like you didn’t feel it in your gut that you needed to move on from this “thing.”  So you held on and had plans to ride it til the wheels fall off. But your divine right is to be happier and to do better than what is at the moment.  So this thing had to be ripped from your hands for the world to see in a way that would make you feel way beyond low if you went after it.  what is the next step? Well you can’t die. You can’t go in isolation.  You have a job to get up and go to, kids to take care of,  school to attend, friends to hang out with, family that loves you.  Now is not the time to fall out and die over something that no longer serves you.  So what do you do?
Well, the first step is to NOT fight the process.  Something is happening in your life. You are losing people, you are losing things, you are changing. Do not fight it. Do not put up a wall, sit still and let it be.  Be silent, listen more, watch more, and understand what has happened to you and why.  Women are always being tested, our strengths, our loyalty, our love for ourselves.  Change is inevitable whether you want to remain the same or not, Life’s experiences won’t allow you to be one way all your life. You have no choice but to grow and learn so don’t fight it!  Everything you go through, everyone you meet, anything you let into your life has a purpose.  You need to know that there is always something greater, something better when you lose something in your life… it enables you to welcome something else.  Don’t fight the process! You have to know and BELIEVE this for yourself, that whenever you lose something, it is the worlds way of making space for something greater.
You couldn’t grow in that job because it is not meant for you to waste any more time there. You are being forced to look for something else.  That friendship wasn’t real, you had to question it too many times it is forcing you to let it go and surround yourself with other people that satisfies your social needs.  That man or woman that you love so much, unfortunately is not the one, you have been disappointed by them one too many times it is time to love them from a distance and open up the pathway for someone who is more consistent and stable.  YOU have to make these decisions but the only way is to NOT FIGHT THE PROCESS!
So now you take this time to take care of yourself, a new thing is in your life, you have to first get through the pain of losing the old thing, then you have to take time for yourself to let it all resonate and transition out of your system, you have to get through the pain, it’s okay it won’t last though. Now is the PERFECT TIME to enlighten yourself, spend some alone time and not self medicate yourself with outside influences.  It’s like going cold turkey after taking heroin.  Right now you want to vomit at the thought of the fight ahead of you, your telling yourself how fair this isn’t. Life ain’t fair, it never will be no matter how good of a person you are but trust me it doesn’t have to feel that bad.  How many things have you gone through that you thought you’d never survive? And if this is your first time going through some bullshit that has upset your world, then this message is for you.
The first step is to do it. Period. Make up your mind and understand that you have no other choice but to do it.
Day after day, you will gain strength and if you are lucky to be surrounded by awesome folks you will gain wisdom and understanding of what is happening to you and why. Embrace the new and let go of the old, no need to dwell on it after a certain amount of time.
There is a statute of limitations on what a person should spend on what pains them.  People love you! Stop giving them your pain and share with them your glory and growth!
And then when the pain of what you lost, what happened to you and what you felt has come to pass, the new you will begin to sprout from the root. You will begin to grow new like when you cut all the perm out of your hair and you go natural. This new hair that you never thought you had under all those toxic chemicals begins to grow stronger, more beautiful, better than what you had before.
Learn how to care for this new hair, this new you and embrace all the good that is about to come your way.  Accept what you can not change and Embrace the possibilities of the future.  Don’t be scared and remember for every win.. someone must fail. Such is life.
Guard Your Spirit
Be Great!

3 thoughts on “Don’t Fight The Process

  1. Maaannn, I really needed to read this, came right on time! I overthink things way to much. No longer fighting the process!! Thank you Ms. Ellis for this message. 🙂

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