Conversations with Yaya

Is “Positive Thinking,” …bullshit?

Here’s my take on positive thinking, energy, unhappiness, stress, etc.  I can only speak from experience as I have dealt with many emotions, high’s and low’s in my lifetime.  But like an addiction, you gotta get a handle on shit because life is about ups and downs, high’s and low’s regardless of who you are, what you have, what you do, where you live, skin color, gender, etc. Too much of anything is no good for you.  We all can agree on that right? But there comes a time in your life when you just get tired of feeling weighed down and our first instinct is to blame something or someone… else.  It normally happens when you feel as if you are doing everything you are suppose to do, yet, something just isn’t right, you are still unhappy, unsettled, energy off.  That is where positive thinking comes in to play and it’s not as easy as just thinking happy thoughts, its about embedding this way of thinking into your soul, your being, you have to become a positive thinker, not just think positive thoughts.  Continue reading “Is “Positive Thinking,” …bullshit?”


I just want to take a moment to rest my hand on the home row keys and allow my fingers to dance and express how I feel about the audacity of women to celebrate one another because nobody else will. I want to take in this moment to bask in the beauty of women who are out here unapologetically showing they natural black asses all up and through these streets.  Every time you turn on the TV, movie theaters, social media, your block, my block, we are every where, afros out, colorful garments, flashy, brazen, bodacious, loud, proud, laughing and hugging, extending opportunities, shaking hands, rubbing shoulders, complimenting one another, adjusting one another’s crown’s, loving on one another, healing each other.

It took us, to fix us and love us. Continue reading “SHOUT OUT TO US!”


I love writing about relationships because we learn so much from them all (or at least we should) be it a situationship, manipulationship, relationship, friendship, partnership, affairs…. yeah I said it, affairs!

Anyway, either you are doing the choosing or being chosen, right? Has being chosen made you more relaxed in your situation? In hindsight, has it made you feel so special perhaps even a bit self-absorbed to the point that you forgot to choose yourself?

Let that sink in for a moment. Continue reading “Flowers”

Fly Girl: Montego Bay, Jamaica

So 10 days after returning from Turks (See Fly Girl: Turks and Caicos) I had the pleasure of going to Montego Bay. Mek mi tell unu about my trip to MoBay!   Now I had just visited Jamaica in 2015 for my great friend Lisa’s 40th.  I thought that was the best trip to Jamaica I’d ever experience. I had gone twice before Lisa’s trip and was well versed in Ricks Cliff, Dunn’s River, all the Marley attractions and drank all the rum punch a girl can have.  And the fact that I am Jamaican it’s like over kill already. Going to Jamaica at this point for me is like going to Miami or to the corner store.  But this time I had to go to Jamaica for one thing I never saw when I was there prior.  Continue reading “Fly Girl: Montego Bay, Jamaica”

FLY GIRL: Turks and Caicos

So I’ve been on this mission in life lately.  The mission is to actually do the things that I sit back and day dream about doing and really making better decisions and choices.  It’s as simple as saying YES to myself even if it means saying no to people, invitations, conversations and anything having to do with anything outside of what I feel deep in my soul or spirit to do.  Biggie said it best, “Only make moves when your heart’s in it.”  We can recite words until we are blue in the face, but when you truly believe in what your speaking, only then it will manifest into your life, is what I believe. So with that being said I started to talk more to myself about the things I wanted out of life, things I could actually control that didn’t involve any one other than myself.  One thing that popped up in my mind was to travel more.  Not because it’s the cool thing to do, but because my creative mind always takes me out my comfort zone and I truly believe my physical should follow.  And seeing as how this is the Year of Yes for me, I decided to stop making excuses and start booking these trips.  My first stop of many to come was Turks and Caicos, which was suppose to be my 40th gift to me but it came earlier.

Continue reading “FLY GIRL: Turks and Caicos”


 happy fun party excited drinking GIF

So I’ve never heard of this book until today. An old friend of mine stopped by and as usual over wine and cornbread we talked about life, we caught up and the topic of course was men.  In any event, we both decided that as we approach and have reached the sensual age of 40 things do indeed change. She said that this book has shaped her life.  I am going to order it as soon as I am finished typing this blog.

But for me, things changed before I turned 40. In fact, I haven’t turned 40 yet, but 40 is right here looking at me from the corner, like yooooooooo whaddup! Yoo hoo over here! Disney happy cute disney hello GIF

Continue reading “ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS SAY YES!”

The Power In Saying NO

Think of all the times you said “yes” to something you really didn’t want to do.  Think about all of the places you were invited to and you went, when you really didn’t want to, but your fear of being “talked about,” or the stress of having to deal with some kind of backlash from friends made you go.

Think of all the times someone needed you for something and you really didn’t have it to give, be it time, money or simply an ear over the phone.  But you obliged, even as you shook your head no.  Begrudgingly you did that thing that you did not want to do.  Think about how you prepared yourself to say “No” to any and everyone who asked you for any damn thing but when the question arises, you say “okay, will do, yes.


Think of how stressed and how unfulfilled YOU felt by giving someone what they wanted when you wanted to say no.  You know what that feeling is? It’s a feeling of deprivation.  Yup, what you feel is you depriving yourself. Continue reading “The Power In Saying NO”

“Make That Move” By Ayana Ellis

black and white gif christmas gif cute gif waiting gif christmas breakDay in and day out you watch the ships roll in and you watch them roll away again.  You’re frustrated, you’re aggravated because you know there is something that you should be doing but you can’t seem to figure out what.  Even more frustrating is knowing what you should be doing but for the life of you, you just can’t figure out where to start.

Times a wasting kid! But you know what we do? We allow that paralyzing fear of failure to keep us stagnant.  We are so afraid of becoming who we know lives inside of us because we are afraid of leaving behind what we have become comfortable with.  But every night we toss and turn after laying in bed for hours day dreaming about the life we want to live, yet we are so afraid to make that move, that first small move, that can catapult us into greatness. We are so afraid to put in that work!

What is hindering you from being who you are destined to be and completing that goal? Dig deep inside and be honest with yourself, what is stopping you from living out that passion or that dream that you can’t go a day without thinking about? Continue reading ““Make That Move” By Ayana Ellis”

Why the 90 Day Rule Isn’t Half Bad and The Benefits of Being Honest With Yourself

This video discusses a different way to approach the 90 day wait period before you get sexual with a man.
It’s not about waiting 90 days before giving a man some. It’s about giving yourself enough time to assess a man’s true intentions before giving him a part of you that you can not get back.

It also discusses the benefits of being honest enough with yourself to make necessary changes for a better life!

Why I Have Not And Probably Will NEVER Get Over Losing Prince

Picture it 1984, it was a Sunday, I remember because that was “movie day” for my 3 siblings and I. Mommy would take us from Bushwick to Flatbush to that big movie theater, it might be Kings Theater now, not sure, it’s been so long. But what I do remember is her taking us to see Purple Rain.  I vaguely remember his songs before going to see that movie, but I remember knowing every word, every song, every eye movement, every dance, every punchline when I walked out of that theater. I wasn’t even 10 years old when that movie came out.  But I remember falling in love with this pretty, sexy mother &%O*%_# who humped stages; Continue reading “Why I Have Not And Probably Will NEVER Get Over Losing Prince”