So I’ve never heard of this book until today. An old friend of mine stopped by and as usual over wine and cornbread we talked about life, we caught up and the topic of course was men. In any event, we both decided that as we approach and have reached the sensual age of 40 things do indeed change. She said that this book has shaped her life. I am going to order it as soon as I am finished typing this blog.
But for me, things changed before I turned 40. In fact, I haven’t turned 40 yet, but 40 is right here looking at me from the corner, like yooooooooo whaddup! Yoo hoo over here!
My friends who have reached 40 before me have tales of body aches, a crazy sex drive and not being with the shits, I said I better get ready for Armageddon.
Let’s just say I arrived at 2 out of 3 long ago and my body ain’t never hurtin’
I’ve been ahead of the game, I was 40 years old mentally, spiritually and emotionally since my 20s. But this ain’t about that. This is about this book, The Year Of Yes written by one of my Sheroes Mizz Shonda Rhimes and the message it conveys.
With three children at home and three hit television shows, it was easy for Shonda to say she was simply too busy. But in truth, she was also afraid. And then, over Thanksgiving dinner, her sister muttered something that was both a wake up and a call to arms: You never say yes to anything. Shonda knew she had to embrace the challenge: for one year, she would say YES to everything that scared her.
So the jist of the book is about saying Yes to things in your life that you would normally say no to for whatever reason. So as my friend and I discussed business ventures, walking away from unsure men, not putting up with this or that, I realized I was already transitioning into my Year of Yes.
Now, as a self-proclaimed introvert (I got receipts, a girl does not like coming outside) I already began my year of yes without even realizing it! I can admit that I have spent so many years saying no, being afraid of what’s out there, keeping myself locked away and shutting myself off from the world. But early this year I got tired of sitting home, hiding from the world, not wanting to be around people and I had to ask myself why? I was waiting for the opportunity to say Yes to something I normally would say no to, and then a friend of mine in-boxed me and invited me to an industry event. I SHUN those things, but ya girl Yaya said, you know what, why say no, just go. Why don’t you want to be seen? Do you know the heights you could reach in life if you allowed people to see you and exposed a little bit of yourself to this big world?
And so with that pep talk night after night after night, I opened myself up to do things I’ve always thought of but was too afraid to do, because it would expose me to people. I realized that in telling myself no, I was dulling my own shine, playing small and being more humble than I needed to be.
My new business ventures are ones that can potentially expose me to the world! I can’t live a life of No. I can no longer hide. My face, my physical, my privacy and all of the things I want to protect will be there for the world to see and judge. Before, I could hide behind books, but now, my face may potentially get plastered everywhere. My private little world made public to some degree. But I realize in my profession, I belong to the world. A specific fraction of me was created to give away to the world. So No is no longer an option.
It caused me to reflect inward on why I have been depriving not just myself, but the world of what I have to offer. Sometimes we shut ourselves out from the world and isolate ourselves inadvertently because of what we are feeling inside. Before you know it, you’ve missed months and years of being around your peers. Our deepest insecurities shine the brightest when we are absent from events, places and people that are most important to us. Something inside of us is screaming and fighting for us to stay away from everyone when in fact we need to be doing the opposite.
So I took a leap of faith and since then I have been saying yes to just about everything! And let me tell you, it feels great!
Try saying YES more. Go out more, accept invites more, be around people more. Just say Yes. Open your life to new possibilities, places and things. We probably say no to so much, because we are use to being told no. Or perhaps our fear is to be told no, so we expect no and in turn give out no’s.
Try saying yes. Set the stage for all the Yes’s to come your way. It starts with you saying Yes first. Keep on saying Yes and open up your heart and soul for a flurry of Yes’s to come your way! Sign up for Yes Camp. Get ready to receive an abundance of Yes’s in your life!
So to that I say YES to life. Yes to living out loud. Yes to invites and exits. I say YES to every and anything, why not? Yes I’ll go here, Yes I’ll meet you there, Yes you can call me, Yes, Yes, Yes! I’ll have another glass of wine, another piece of cake, Yes to that second date.Yes I agree you should never call me again, Yes to more sex, Yes dammit just Yes!!!!!!
There is power in saying Yes. Saying Yes means, I am doing what I want. I am going where I please. I am not going to stop moving. I am going to live my best life! I am not hiding. I am not afraid.
The caveat in saying Yes to everything is that you are taking a huge chance, it is indeed a risk. But you will never know if you always say No right?
No matter the cost, no matter the distance, no matter the time, no matter what, dammit I’m just saying Yes if it makes sense to say so. I’m tired of the word No.
It is the Year Of The Yes!
The more Yes’s you give out the more Yes’s that will come back to you. Not just a verbal Yes but an inward Yes. Say Yes inside. Give your spirit and soul a big ole Yes! Just Yuzzzzzzz to everything!
So cheers to saying Yes and being told Yes! I’m saying Yes to it all so come on and get me while I’m hot.
Not in that way though…