WHAT BECOMES OF THE BROKEN HEARTED: BY AYANA ELLIS

Heartbreak.  It happens to the nicest of people.  It happens unexpectedly.  It happens when we are not careful. It happens when we ARE careful.  It happens no matter what, it is inevitable.  Just like riding a bike, you never forget how to ride the waves of heartbreak.  That burning feeling in your stomach, those headaches that won’t go away.   The way your eyes burn as they try to hold back tears when you think of them.  Your whole world turns misty blue at the mere mention of their name. You want nothing more than for the pain to go away so bad that you begin asking God for his help to rid yourself of the love you have for this person and some air to breathe because you’re suffocated in sadness and turmoil. You don’t know whether to shit or go blind. Everything is just turned upside down. Poor baby, you just want to come outside and play and smell some flowers. But you are being held captive in your own sorrow. Continue reading

WOMAN

You are known for always having your stuff together.  The strong one. The put together one.  The one who makes failure look like a win.

Everybody loves you, people flock around you in droves when you finally come out of hibernation to show the world your beautiful smile.  Your energy attracts a nation of millions.

You got it going on by any means necessary. You are beautiful.  You love hard.  You are in a relationship with the man of your dreams.

You live in a nice place and your children aren’t delinquents.  Even their father, though removed from the home, is supportive, mentally, emotionally, financially…  You are winning.  Some women want to be you, not that they lack self esteem, but because you carry a peace that is envied. You carry a glow that reminds others that they are not done growing.  You are admired.  The straightness of your back when you walk makes every curve on your body noticeable prompting quiet admirers to run to the gym in silence to reappear as your competition …but you ain’t listening.

People come to you for guidance, telling you their darkest secrets because they know that you will keep it. You are mother, sister, daughter, wife, bestie, home girl to the stars…

Men look at you with dirty thoughts… they wanna slide their knowledge between your eyes and drip hot conversation into your mouth and grope your soul…

They do not want to wife you… but instead marry everything in your world, every turn there is a promise and a vow to be the only one in your world as your protector, your guide though you need neither.. they still are honored and fight for the cause…

Perfect is what they call you as you saunter pass leaving a womanly fragrance in the air for them all to nose fight over sucking up all of your allure.. You leave people wanting more.

You are adored

But you wonder sometimes…  at night when you close your door

And the tears pour

That if you show that you are human… and that you have feelings too

Will you let the world that has shown you so much love down?

Because you are hurting over something they can’t see

Wanting something they cannot give

Needing one thing that not even you know what it is… until you get it

So you prepare your soul for it every day by being kind

By loving through the pain

By giving more than taking

By speaking positive words

By meditation

By being grateful

By being…

A woman

Just know that it is okay…