The Power In Saying NO

Think of all the times you said “yes” to something you really didn’t want to do.  Think about all of the places you were invited to and you went, when you really didn’t want to, but your fear of being “talked about,” or the stress of having to deal with some kind of backlash from friends made you go.

Think of all the times someone needed you for something and you really didn’t have it to give, be it time, money or simply an ear over the phone.  But you obliged, even as you shook your head no.  Begrudgingly you did that thing that you did not want to do.  Think about how you prepared yourself to say “No” to any and everyone who asked you for any damn thing but when the question arises, you say “okay, will do, yes.

Now…

Think of how stressed and how unfulfilled YOU felt by giving someone what they wanted when you wanted to say no.  You know what that feeling is? It’s a feeling of deprivation.  Yup, what you feel is you depriving yourself. Continue reading

WHAT BECOMES OF THE BROKEN HEARTED: BY AYANA ELLIS

Heartbreak.  It happens to the nicest of people.  It happens unexpectedly.  It happens when we are not careful. It happens when we ARE careful.  It happens no matter what, it is inevitable.  Just like riding a bike, you never forget how to ride the waves of heartbreak.  That burning feeling in your stomach, those headaches that won’t go away.   The way your eyes burn as they try to hold back tears when you think of them.  Your whole world turns misty blue at the mere mention of their name. You want nothing more than for the pain to go away so bad that you begin asking God for his help to rid yourself of the love you have for this person and some air to breathe because you’re suffocated in sadness and turmoil. You don’t know whether to shit or go blind. Everything is just turned upside down. Poor baby, you just want to come outside and play and smell some flowers. But you are being held captive in your own sorrow. Continue reading

What We Can Learn From Halle Berry

I want to talk about all of the “Halle Berry’s” in the world.

The Halle Berry’s of the world are the women who continue to be in relationship after failing relationship… according to those “Watching” from the sidelines.

Someone on Twitter made the truest statement that Halle Berry has failed marriages and is ridiculed but Steve Harvey is successful for his failed marriages, I mean wtf is that about?

Sista Erykah Badu can have 4 baby daddies and be crowned Queen Pum Pum but because Halle isn’t walking around on her god body shit she’s a failure?  Help me understand people?

Here is the thing.  NOTHING in this world is guaranteed to last forever.  Not your job, your finances, your happiness and not even this precious life you live unfortunately.

If you are mentally healthy then you will continue to grow as the years go on. Your wants change, your desires, change, your needs change.  The more you are exposed to the more you will change.  You do not have any power over the people in your life and what they decide to do with themselves.  You can only love yourself and hope that your mate loves you and loves himself just as much to grow as well.   You are not obligated to play the role of small wonder to make anybody in your life feel big or complete. You are doing yourself a MAJOR disservice if that is the route you choose to go.

There are a lot of women in the world in relationships for 5, 10, 15, 20 years that turn their noses up to women who end relationships in 3 year increments.  Even more disappointing are the men who bash the women who “can’t keep a man.”

Let’s discuss these people shall we? Continue reading