WHAT BECOMES OF THE BROKEN HEARTED: BY AYANA ELLIS

Heartbreak.  It happens to the nicest of people.  It happens unexpectedly.  It happens when we are not careful. It happens when we ARE careful.  It happens no matter what, it is inevitable.  Just like riding a bike, you never forget how to ride the waves of heartbreak.  That burning feeling in your stomach, those headaches that won’t go away.   The way your eyes burn as they try to hold back tears when you think of them.  Your whole world turns misty blue at the mere mention of their name. You want nothing more than for the pain to go away so bad that you begin asking God for his help to rid yourself of the love you have for this person and some air to breathe because you’re suffocated in sadness and turmoil. You don’t know whether to shit or go blind. Everything is just turned upside down. Poor baby, you just want to come outside and play and smell some flowers. But you are being held captive in your own sorrow.

sad baby crying the help noFret not my pretty, I am here to help you alleviate the morning sickness, the blues, the bitterness that is trying to set into your pretty heart. Thou shall not become a bitter betty just because her heart his broken.  You think God would let your soul mate just get away like that?

Think about that for a second.

S/he is what you wanted and prayed for day in and day out.  But God has other plans.  So now what do you do? You don’t wanna hear that bullshit right now I know but its fact.  Think about the relationship for a second.  Were you 100% fulfilled in the areas that mattered most and the areas that makes sense to a grown ass woman or man?  Is this the person that you saw yourself with forever or is this the person that you saw yourself with …for a long time.  Yup.. I went there.

Think about it.  When you met this person were you a whole human? Or was their a part of you that needed nurturing?   Did this person fulfill all of you? Or just that one part of you.  See because ain’t no relationship flourishing off a piece of anything. Sista can’t fly with one wing!

See here’s the thing. Sometimes we haven’t fully grown as adults yet and while we are still working on ourselves, someone comes along and fills that void.  If you’re horny you may become attached to someone who is giving you good sex and mistake it for love.  If you’re broke you may come across someone who takes care of you financially and mistake it for someone who can provide for you.  If you’re self-esteem is low you may come across someone who gives you plenty compliments and now you feel like a natural woman.  But the danger in that is, he who feeds you can starve you.

I just said a word

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What happens when that person stops giving you money, stops giving you compliments, stops sexing you to the moon and back?  Now you are heartbroken.  You feel as if you lost the best thing that has ever happened to you. Who is gonna love you like s/he did? Who is gonna take care of you like s/he did? Who is gonna sex you down like s/he did?

The answer my love bug is YOU that’s who. Yes you. When you become whole and can take care of yourself, find the beauty in yourself and become disciplined when it comes to the flesh/sex, you won’t need or tolerate anyone who only has “pieces” to offer you.  You up the ante and raise the bar for those who want to be in your presence.  What can a man that only has dick to offer do for you? What can a man that only has money do for you when you have your own? What can a man that only tries to flatter you with compliments when you already know yourself worth do for you?  You are complete as an adult, mind, body and soul so you’re not trying to build-a-boo and you don’t need anyone to build you either!  But if you’re not whole you will always settle for pieces.

tv in living color hated itSo with that being said, let’s fix this broken heart of yours.  Yes it hurts, you are human.  Allow yourself time to grieve. Allow yourself to feel all the feels you need to feel but then you gotta wipe the snot off your face and own some shit.  Only you and your God knows why you stayed in that relationship for so long when you knew the end was inevitable.  You allowed it to get to heartACHE when you should have let them go at heartbreak.  There is a difference.

Heartbreak is like a broken nail.  Heartache is like broken ribs.  Much more painful and takes much longer to heal, get up and live again.  When someone causes you heartache it is like a death, someone died, and it takes time to get over these things.  But treat it like a 9-5 and get your ass back to work so you can continue to make a living and have a life after death.

When you accept and acknowledge the part you played in the demise of the relationship, it is then and only then that you can begin to heal, because the heartache indeed lessens when you receive the lesson.

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Be Good To Yourself Always

Be Great!

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