Stop Keeping Score of People’s Actions

Jun 23, 2016 by

Because women are emotional creatures we often get all up in arms when someone doesn’t show up to something important or when someone constantly hurts us, shades us, does us wrong.  Why? Because we are too god damned concerned with loving other people more than we are about loving ourselves. We give other people too much power over ourselves because we are natural people-pleaser’s, nurturers etc. We want to take care of people, understand people, give second, third and fourth chances, but at what cost?

Sometimes ladies, I think we validate ourselves too much by how many people are around us, how many likes we get, how many events we are invited to etc.  How is this even healthy? If you live for a man’s compliments surely you will suffer and die from his criticism amen?

At what point do you start living for yourself and allow others to follow your lead?

At what point do you make moves, do you, go where you want, be with who you want, hang with who you want and begin embracing those who love and treat you like a priority and stop worrying about those  who only come around to cause grief and uncertainty?

Surely there has to come a time in your life when you get tired of being treated like a yo-yo by anybody that’s in your life that’s suppose to respect and love you.  Surely you get tired of waiting, arguing, going back and forth with whoever about whatever. Surely….There comes a point in your life when you have to say enough of the half assed EVERYTHING and only be open to receive those who are committed to you in a healthy way.

The key to that is to spend less time complaining about those who are unreliable and spend more time loving and embracing those who walk in your purpose along side you.

What’s the point in documenting all of the so-called foul or hurtful things they have done to you if you’re still going to keep them around? If you can actually keep score of the hurtful things people are doing to you then that means they are doing too damn much and you need to fall back! Why are you keeping score? Do they win a fucking prize for doing the most fucked up shit to you? What’s the point? Do you want to save it for when they ask you for something and you whip out a list of reasons why you won’t help them? Does that make you feel good?

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Sometimes you gotta just say “hey man fu** you,”  not with words but with love,  by simply living your life and walking away from people that no longer compliment your lifestyle!

Listen, you already know what it is! When you fall, there are those who will laugh and/or pull out the cellphones to record every embarrassing moment and share it with their world; and there are those who will pull up in an Ambulance, administer CPR, plug an IV in your arm and do 90 mph to get you to the hospital, and sit in the waiting room until you are okay, feel me? Hell you gotta shed friends like you shed dead skin on the heel of your foot, scrape em off! You want to hold on to those memories and those women that been with you through some things and vice versa and all that, but in real life it’s rare that you remain tight with your day ones. Because life that’s why.  If you’re blessed to still have your day one’s great! That means you girls have grown together, but if not, that’s great too! Let ’em go and make room for new people!

Stop worrying about people that can’t commit to you.  Concern yourself with those who are stable, that enjoys bringing good vibes and wine, shit, pick up the phone for those that are always on the other end happy to hear from you, hang around those that support you in whatever you do, be there for those who are always there for you without judgement and when all else fails clap for your mother%&(#%&self!

Next time you call yourself getting stressed out over other people regarding some other shit that you have no control over, STOP, take a deep breath, look in the mirror and tell yourself..

angela bassett waiting to exhale

Because at the end of the day you need people in your life that are down for you always, no matter what and that respects you enough to walk away from you if they can’t provide you the friendship or relationship that you deserve because you offer the same!  This is NOT to be confused with being surrounded by Yes Men but with people that are true to themselves. Hell in order to be trusted you gotta be honest. So always CHECK YOURSELF first and foremost before you start crying foul on others.

Anytime my mind ran across a so called friend, dude I’m dating, whoever and I got an itch in my ass? I cut them off.  I don’t know how gangster you are about your life and your happiness, but for me? I’m quite gangsta when it comes to my Feng shui.  I spent a lot of years confused, angry, upset, sour, and I couldn’t put my finger on why? Why when I have all of these friends? All these mens and thangs around me,  Life is good!

But then I realized, I had energy suckers around me.  I had people around me who souls weren’t right, who spirituality wasn’t aligned with my own. And it wasn’t until I became in tune with myself as a God fearing woman that I began to change from the inside out and the spirit I possessed began rebuking those who were not genuine to me. I didn’t have to do much besides wanting better for myself, wanting peace for myself and wanting to be genuinely happy inside.  It was then those friendships that were not for me or of me begun to crumble.  I began to see people for who they really were and I had no problem putting myself first and cutting them off by simply not calling, not answering and not caring any more.  Sometimes there’s no conversation to be had other than the one you have with yourself regarding what’s best for you. Then and only then will you see the changes around you.  You can’t be afraid, you have to go for yours.

At the end of the day. Like, the very end of the day when the make up is off and the bonnet is on and you are in bed reflecting on your day, there are people you fall asleep thinking about and their are people that you fall asleep hoping to forget.

You know who they are. Get rid of em…

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1 Comment

  1. Tez

    💯💯💯

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