Be Encouraged, Be an Inspiration

The older we get, the less tolerable we become of people around us and what they bring to the table or lack there of.  All of us are striving for something or to be somebody or to accomplish a goal.  The last thing we need are distractions.

Sometimes we don’t realize that we can’t find that inner peace because we are attributing to the confusion in our lives by surrounding ourselves with individuals who attract drama.  The time you spend gossiping, carrying on, doing nothing and filling your mental space with bullshit is time wasted when you can be chasing your dreams.brandy  There comes a time in everyone’s life when they have to make the decision to stay in the mix or grow and set an example.  You have to let go of what you know and take that big leap into the next level and when you look back you’ll either see people on the ledge contemplating should they jump with you, you will see people running for safety,  you will see people jumping behind you and unfortunately you will see people trying to grab your ankle so you won’t make it across. Your loved ones will not like it.  Some of them won’t understand.  Change makes some people uncomfortable so they will react negatively to you trying to move on. They may even be envious of your courage to want to change your ways and do better for your self.  You my love have to be unapologetic.   You my sweets have to keep growing and keep going and leave behind whosoever isn’t for the betterment of you or for themselves!  Everyone matures and grows at their own speed, let them catch up, but you have to keep going.

It is important that in the midst of the craziness you have that ONE person that understands, that roots for you, that cheerleaders for you.  More importantly you should have someone in your life that is one step ahead of you. Everyone should have a mentor or someone who is designed to inspire others.  And as you follow the blue print of that person who is living life how you would like to, someone is coming up behind you admiring you as well.

The plan is to always be encouraged by someone and serve as an inspiration to others. No matter what you accomplish, there is one person that helped you along the way, no man is an island.  But you have to find that calm in the world of storm.

Often times, women don’t know how to be happy for another woman when things aren’t going right in their lives.  “Sistas” have a reputation of hating on one another.  It’s not cool.  Encouraging, supporting and genuinely being happy for another woman no matter your circumstances will bless you and make you feel better than ever. It is then and only then that the Universe will give back to you what you exude.

Give a compliment

Be happy for other women

Support the dreams of your loved ones

Be a Mentor

Be influenced by someone who is doing the things you want to do in life.

And don’t be afraid to take that leap of faith. Watch life change right before your eyes.

Be Great!

ME O’Clock

Life….

Ever find yourself foggy headed, unable to concentrate, cranky for no reason… or perhaps you know the reasons why you’re feeling so drained, aloof, blah, but you can’t really seem to figure out how to turn OFF your ON switch.

You’re always doing “something.” Working, looking, building, trying, running, praying, giving, needing, loving, hating, hurting, wondering, thinking…. And it seems impossible to just stop for a second and do nothing at all. After all, the world won’t turn if you’re not running on that hamster wheel to keep it going right? WRONG.

Life….

Will pass you by if you are so busy trying to make a living, that you forget to live. Happiness will elude you if you are going so hard trying to make others happy, in an effort to bring happiness to yourself. Love will drain you if you’re loving your mate so much harder than s/he is loving you in return. In order for love to work, it has to be reciprocated on the same level to avoid resentment. That same sentiment goes for chasing happiness, chasing dreams, etc.

In all things that you do, sometimes the more you chase after it, the harder it seems to obtain and you will find yourself drained, tired and unhappy because you put so much effort into things without giving yourself a chance to breathe. It’s like if you plant a seed in the dirt, then you just sit there day in and day out waiting for a leaf or bud to sprout from the ground; or painting a room, touching the paint every 3 minutes to see if it is dry yet. It will drive you crazy. Sometimes you have to step away from the things you put the most effort into, step back and get a clearer view as to what is going on, what you’re doing and what it is you’re really trying to achieve. Look at all areas of your life through fresh eyes every once in a while to get a better understanding and view of what you’re doing. If possible, change your scenery and surroundings for a few days at least once a month. Take a break, a breather and invest all of that energy into some “ME TIME.” Find something other than your normal routine to do or saturate your thoughts with. Step away from it all for a week or so. Regroup, reinvent and apply that new energy to what matters to you the most.

Tips on How to Set Your Watch to “Me O’clock”

Spa Day: Everyone should invest in a Spa Day. Relax, get the kinks worked out of you and just relax.

Change your surroundings: When your life gets too routine it is imperative that you find something else to do other than the usual. Book a hotel room, one with good views. Order room service, relax for the weekend, and leave the lap top at home. Don’t even tell anyone where you are. Just let your loved ones know that you’re okay and be gone!

Day Off: Use those sick and vacation days randomly in the middle of the week just to break up the monotony of it all.

Fall Back: Let your mate know you’re tired and you need a moment to yourself and switch that dial to Me O’clock for about 48-72 hours if possible.

Drop It: Stop thinking so much. Relax, drink some tea and let it go… whatever it is just let it go for a while. You may find that once you do, you don’t even have any desire to allow certain thoughts to enter your mind again.

Reevaluate your circle: Friends/People can drain and suck the energy right out of you. Be mindful of who you spend most of your time with and who you give most of your energy to. They may be a huge contributing factor to why you feel the way you do.

Career Goals: They say never give up. But you just might have to switch gears if what you’re working so hard on just isn’t working.

Over all, don’t invest more time than you should, into anything or anyone that isn’t beneficial to your overall happiness, wealth and health. Sometimes you have to make time for nothing other than yourself. Every once in a while the time should be set to Me O’clock on your watch.

Remember that your body/mind is a machine. Don’t over heat it, causing it to break down. Keep your parts fresh!

-BE GREAT!

 

Emotionally Unavailable

The number you have reached is disconnected….

But you keep on dialing that number, wondering how the hell did it get disconnected so fast? And why isn’t anybody paying the damn bill to get the lines back on!? Every other day you try that number because you are really trying to get through to this person. This person is important to you and you’re trying to reach out to them but you can’t because the damn number is disconnected.  We are talking about your man, your lover, your partner.  What do you do when he becomes emotionally unavailable to you?

Most of us nag the  hell out of him because he’s not paying us any attention and we are too self absorbed to realize that there is a possibility that we are the problem. But what made him check out?  If its you, are you strong and/or mature enough to admit that emotionally your man is not in sync with you because of you? Perhaps you have been overbearing, insensitive to some of his needs, not taking care of yourself or perhaps you have been going through some things in your life to where he could not get your attention for way too long and now that you are available to him he is no longer available to you? But you’re too blind to see that you checked out on him first, expecting him to be there when you checked back in?

Perhaps there is something happening in his life that he just can’t articulate to you at this moment because he just isn’t sure what his next move is going to be, so the question is, what do you do in the meantime when your mate has disconnected all lines of communication between the two of you?

Ask him if he would like to talk. He’ll probably say no. Ask him again anyway, different times, different tones, different approaches.  Little by little, earn his trust, make him feel as if he can talk to you. He still may not tell you what is wrong, but he’ll loosen up, might even change his mind as to what was bothering him.  If he doesn’t open up then I suggest you stand clear of the closing doors. Don’t bug him to death to tell you, that will only make matters worse. Move about your daily activities, doing what you been doing, providing that it doesn’t consist of you getting on his nerves.  Not sure what’s on your man’s mind? Here are a few things that bother men the most and causes them to shut down and not give a flying fuck who it affects.

  1. Money:  If your mans’ money is funny you can absolutely forget about that ninja for a minute. You won’t know who this other person is that you share a bed with. He will walk, talk, act, move different. He will be mean possibly, angry, nasty and most of all very quiet. There is NOTHING else on his mind but ways to get his finances in order. So unless you got a million dollars in your purse? Stay the fuck out of his way and just make sure he has dinner at night. Because if your man is broke and on top of that hungry? You’re liable to get slapped, left and possibly robbed.
  1. Pressure:  Pressure of any kind is a sure way to make a man go into hiding. If he has a woman pressuring him for anything “big” like marriage, to make more money, to purchase a big item, to stop hanging with his friends, to checking that irate family member , having a baby etc., these things will cause a brother to fall back and really reevaluate some things.  More than anything he’ll be reevaluating the person that is applying all of this pressure.  Is it you?
  1. Life(style) changes:  Maybe he had to downgrade because he made a bad business investment (it all goes back to money) or something like that and he has to make some changes.  But you’re not feeling it! And you make no qualms about showing it. When you tell him “its okay,” he can see right through you.  Because your attitude has changed, you’re rolling your eyes, your energy sucks! That’s all he needs to feel is that his woman is not a ride or die and he’s shutting down on your ass. Nothing more to talk about. It’ll take a second before he looks at you the same again. He might not ever look at you the same again. So be genuine in your approach ladies.
  1. Side-Eye:  As women, sometimes we just don’t have any couth, admit it. We can say some real bullshit out of our mouths and not be aware of how it can change a man’s’ attitude and perception of us. And most of the time he won’t say anything right away. Again, he will shut down and spend more time than you care for, analyzing you, why he should be with you, what he wants to do with his life. I’m not saying bite your tongue ladies, but don’t burn any bridges either.
  1. Age: He’s looking at himself in the mirror throwing a pity party saying, I’m such and such age, I should have, I should be, I should look like this. Now he has to sit back and put a plan in motion to accomplish everything he didn’t do.  And guess what? (Most) men can not multi-task. He can’t deal with you and handle his issues. Nooooo that might be too damn much. So he’s going to put you on hold, emotionally, he won’t be in the building.  Sorry, he has to focus on him so he can feel like a man.  Any minor glitch in his system will set him off and he will become emotionally unavailable to you.
  2. He might not be into you anymore:  It’s a hard pill to swallow but people are entitled to change their mind in love. He just might be contemplating leaving you.

There are different and deeper issues he may be dealing with, but just to scratch the surface, these are some of the main things that will send him into the darkness.  There is nothing we can do about that.  The question to you ladies is, what do you do when you’re man has become emotionally unavailable? Do you stay and hold him down even though he’s swatting you away like a gnat at a barbeque? Or do you leave and come back when he got his shit right. What do you do?  I’m not sure, but I can tell you what NOT to do.

Do not sit around and be ignored.  It’s but so much shutting down and disconnection anybody can take.  He doesn’t feel as if he can open up to you, his woman?  Then that’s a big red flag. And if he doesn’t care enough to share his issues with you then you shouldn’t care enough to stick around trying to find out.  But its on you. Go out, do things, live your life, but do check in on him from time to time to see if there is any progress in your mate.  Don’t stop living because he chose to.

BE GREAT!

 

 

Drop A Gem On ‘Em

A woman’s most precious gems are kept in her jewelry box with a lock and key. It is not  left out in the open for the taking. She goes in the box to retrieve her special gems on special occasions and she wears them proudly.  This same sentiment should and can be applied to your daily life.  It’s hard enough being a woman in a world filled with bad bitches. So it is a must that we maintain and protect what is precious to us in the mental, emotional, spiritual, physical, sexual and verbal form.

What we expose ourselves to daily, what we listen to, pray for, speak about, do and allow continuously, all contribute to who we are and what we will inevitably become.

The jewelry box will be filled with precious gems for women to keep us uplifted, positive and willing to represent ourselves as the upper echelon of  humanity.

It’s a cold world out there girls… We have to stay afloat and not let our surroundings bring us down or change who we are.  Stay BeYOUtiful.

Live, Love, Laugh and Be Great!

 

BeYOUtiful

There is nothing wrong with a little bit of makeup, a couple of tracks or a pair of Spanx to smoothing things over.  But this trend of body alteration has gotten out of control.  Way out of control.  Women are  getting their lives snatched from them instead of their waist lines because they are willing to do anything to look good.

Now I’m all for looking good in a dress, but some of you woman are being straight up deceitful with these contraptions that you are wearing under your clothes.  You wear these full metal jackets and you lure men in, men who are visual creatures by the  way and all they see is your breasts poppin out, ass poking out, waist sucked in, you’re looking like a real life Jessica Rabbit!

But after a few dates, when he gets you home and you take  your waist trainer off, your whole body drops down to the ground and gets it eagle on.  He’s no longer attracted to you and you know what? It’s not because your body hit the floor running,  its because you lied.  You came out the shower and your eyebrows were no longer on fleek, your skin wasn’t all that great and your body wasn’t all that tight and that might have been okay with this man that you were trying to impress, if you were just happy with being yourself to begin with.

And so you take it a step further and decide you don’t want to wear the body armor anymore so you contemplate surgery.  There is nothing wrong with a little nip and tuck here and there if you deem it necessary but you have another agenda. You are sick of looking at these females on TV that are beat, snatched and flawless getting all this money and attention. You want to be like them too!  So you save up as much money as you can and you find the most affordable doctor, no matter what the consequences are and you risk it all just to look good.

But how do you feel inside? After all the poking and prodding and being cut open and having things sucked out of you and put back in you… how does that make you feel?

When did simply being you, stop being enough?

All the waist training and butt injections is not worth your life.  If you are unhappy with your looks, take into consideration that what you allow inside of you will be reflected on the outside of you.

Eat well, exercise and be happy with you, beYOutiful and it will shine through on the outside. No amount of surgery can top natural beauty.

Be Great!