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So I’ve never heard of this book until today. An old friend of mine stopped by and as usual over wine and cornbread we talked about life, we caught up and the topic of course was men.  In any event, we both decided that as we approach and have reached the sensual age of 40 things do indeed change. She said that this book has shaped her life.  I am going to order it as soon as I am finished typing this blog.

But for me, things changed before I turned 40. In fact, I haven’t turned 40 yet, but 40 is right here looking at me from the corner, like yooooooooo whaddup! Yoo hoo over here! Disney happy cute disney hello GIF

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The Power In Saying NO

Think of all the times you said “yes” to something you really didn’t want to do.  Think about all of the places you were invited to and you went, when you really didn’t want to, but your fear of being “talked about,” or the stress of having to deal with some kind of backlash from friends made you go.

Think of all the times someone needed you for something and you really didn’t have it to give, be it time, money or simply an ear over the phone.  But you obliged, even as you shook your head no.  Begrudgingly you did that thing that you did not want to do.  Think about how you prepared yourself to say “No” to any and everyone who asked you for any damn thing but when the question arises, you say “okay, will do, yes.


Think of how stressed and how unfulfilled YOU felt by giving someone what they wanted when you wanted to say no.  You know what that feeling is? It’s a feeling of deprivation.  Yup, what you feel is you depriving yourself. Continue reading


Heartbreak.  It happens to the nicest of people.  It happens unexpectedly.  It happens when we are not careful. It happens when we ARE careful.  It happens no matter what, it is inevitable.  Just like riding a bike, you never forget how to ride the waves of heartbreak.  That burning feeling in your stomach, those headaches that won’t go away.   The way your eyes burn as they try to hold back tears when you think of them.  Your whole world turns misty blue at the mere mention of their name. You want nothing more than for the pain to go away so bad that you begin asking God for his help to rid yourself of the love you have for this person and some air to breathe because you’re suffocated in sadness and turmoil. You don’t know whether to shit or go blind. Everything is just turned upside down. Poor baby, you just want to come outside and play and smell some flowers. But you are being held captive in your own sorrow. Continue reading

“Make That Move” By Ayana Ellis

black and white gif christmas gif cute gif waiting gif christmas breakDay in and day out you watch the ships roll in and you watch them roll away again.  You’re frustrated, you’re aggravated because you know there is something that you should be doing but you can’t seem to figure out what.  Even more frustrating is knowing what you should be doing but for the life of you, you just can’t figure out where to start.

Times a wasting kid! But you know what we do? We allow that paralyzing fear of failure to keep us stagnant.  We are so afraid of becoming who we know lives inside of us because we are afraid of leaving behind what we have become comfortable with.  But every night we toss and turn after laying in bed for hours day dreaming about the life we want to live, yet we are so afraid to make that move, that first small move, that can catapult us into greatness. We are so afraid to put in that work!

What is hindering you from being who you are destined to be and completing that goal? Dig deep inside and be honest with yourself, what is stopping you from living out that passion or that dream that you can’t go a day without thinking about? Continue reading

Why the 90 Day Rule Isn’t Half Bad and The Benefits of Being Honest With Yourself

This video discusses a different way to approach the 90 day wait period before you get sexual with a man.
It’s not about waiting 90 days before giving a man some. It’s about giving yourself enough time to assess a man’s true intentions before giving him a part of you that you can not get back.

It also discusses the benefits of being honest enough with yourself to make necessary changes for a better life!

Why I Have Not And Probably Will NEVER Get Over Losing Prince

Picture it 1984, it was a Sunday, I remember because that was “movie day” for my 3 siblings and I. Mommy would take us from Bushwick to Flatbush to that big movie theater, it might be Kings Theater now, not sure, it’s been so long. But what I do remember is her taking us to see Purple Rain.  I vaguely remember his songs before going to see that movie, but I remember knowing every word, every song, every eye movement, every dance, every punchline when I walked out of that theater. I wasn’t even 10 years old when that movie came out.  But I remember falling in love with this pretty, sexy mother &%O*%_# who humped stages; Continue reading

Why conversations among women must change for the better

This video discusses Why quality conversations are important and how it can change the dynamics of any relationship. Learning to avoid toxic conversations.

Positive and quality conversation between women causes a domino effect. We should all strive to keep a great vibe among our peers and to dismiss any conversation that is geared toward tearing down another woman.

Video Coming Soon!

Cynthia Bailey on Entrepreneurship and staying focused

Before she was Nene Leakes “bestie,” on the Real Housewives of Atlanta, Cynthia Bailey was a real house hold name among the fashion elite, gracing the covers of some of the worlds top fashion magazines.  Yes, one thing is for sure, you all got Ms. Bailey effed up.  This woman is a legend in her own right, you could find Cynthia styling alongside the likes of Beverly Johnson, Naomi, Iman and Tyra. Continue reading

Its Ok To Be Tired Of Yourself

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It’s OK to be tired of yourself.

Yes I said it right. Tired of your same old self…your old self attracts too much Bullshit.. so much so that you dedicate your life to change. You are tired.

So You begin to walk different, you begin to speak different, you entertain different conversations, you go different places, you dress different,  you begin to Pray different…

You meet different, you eat different, you put up with different shit.. you practice a different way of life because you want a different outcome… YOU ARE TIRED OF YOURSELF.

You are tired of yourself. And you have every right to change for the betterment of you. Because you are the one waking up tired of yourself and you just can’t deal.

Those who don’t respect that are the ones who more than likely want to constantly remind you of your past and who and how you use to be. They don’t understand that you are paying homage to your past by building a better life off it back.

They unfortunately miss out on the opportunity to meet a new friend with the same old values and beautiful heart that kept them in your life all this time.

My guess is that they ain’t tired of themselves yet.  

But YOU keep going.

Nobody works hard and goes thru all this hell and heartache in life to remain the same.

They call that insanity…. right?

Be Good To Yourself

Be Great!